Friday, July 13, 2012

Which End Is Up?

Which end is up? In a matter of hours my world will be thrown into a living breathing vortex affectionately referred to as da Bug (my preen-cess of a niece).

My sis will roll into town, catch up on some much needed R & R and then will squeal out of town in a cloud of Texas dust.

Ohn Mamie's Summer Camp will begin. I'm Ohn Mamie by the way. Ohn is what aunt sounds like  southern style. Mamie is Amy, or at least what Amy sounds like to a baby. My niece has names for everyone. Even though she can say our real names now, we'll always be referred to as the names she's bestowed upon us. We've all embraced the names, even Aunt Candy who has for some reason been dubbed Unka (Uncle) Candy.

I was so very excited when my sis asked if we would keep my niece for a week. Very excited and then very afraid. Ok, I admit there have been moments of panic. Panic is bad. Panic is fear and I swear kids can smell it.

Remembering the quote that my niece screamed through her house after a day of church camp, "With God I can do anything!"

I can do this. I can do this with some simple yet tactical maneuvers. I'm pulling out all the stops, drawing from my experience being PTA Room Mom, Cub Scout Den Mom and my experience working kid auditions. It's all about the planning. Plan A, then plan B and always have plan C.

My family is on full alert and at the ready. My son will make good use of those skills learned from Scout National Leader Training and from ROTC. My stepson taught skateboarding classes and has a keen perspective on what and could happen when kids get bored. These skills the boys posses are of immeasurable significance.

Unka Davin (Uncle David) who is also Silly Unka Davin on occasion will be allowed to let his inner child run free, uninhibited by Ohn Mamie's glare of disapproval. Untethered, I imagine he will have as much fun as my niece. We may have to make some plans for Unka Davin too.

So kind folks, bless me. Bless me good. I really am a bit concerned that my stupid Sjogren's Syndrome will remind me that I am in fact human. Super Ohn Mamie will have to pace herself and keep a firm sight on what's up and down. Oh what a lovely thought it is to know that if I crash it'll be because I've had a blast!

Seriously though, bless me.

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